Monday

Monday, Monday…how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. NO ways!

If I were to get Monday a Valentine’s gift, it would be pig poop in a plastic bag.

I know, let’s wrap Monday to a tree with duct tape and pee on it all day.

How about this? We pour cement overshoes on Monday and bury it in the desert. The concrete is to make sure the coyotes can’t drag it off!

I’m wondering if the rack might convince Monday to never appear again.

Sorry, wrong rack....


Where is Godzilla when you need him? He could have Monday for breakfast.

I thought about simply erasing Monday from the calendar, but Tuesday would just take its place! Even naming the days after numbers wouldn’t work. Two would just take over for one.

We could send Monday to Mars on a rocket, but if there is life there it would be so rude.

We could nuke it, but that would kill the rest of the week and us too.

OK, I get it Monday is here to stay, but I don’t have to like it. Let’s just get on with the day and before we know it, Tuesday will be here and we can look forward to Friday. God, I love Fridays – let me count the ways….

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Doom and Gloom Sucks!

It’s no wonder I have stopped reading newspapers and watching news programs on television. The doomsayers win, I give up – uncle – I’m out for the count. Enough is enough, I can’t take anymore. What the hell happened to positive thinking, hope, the American Spirit and, most of all, belief in something bigger than the individual?

It seems like life in the world today is kicking the crap out of us and we can’t counter anymore. Like hell we can’t; I’ve got news for all you negative, doom and gloom assholes. I for one am tuning you all out; out of sight – out of mind. Take your Mayan end of the world calendar and stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine!

Nostradamus predictions are the product of the spin people who make a living out of trying to scare the world into buying their bullshit. Quatrains my ass. Anyone can try to change Histor to Hitler, but where is the real connection? Anyone who reads Nostradamus also knows that he never predicted the world to end in the year 2012. In fact, neither did the Mayans. December 21, 2012, would be the start of a new calendar for the Mayans had they not become cannibals and sacrificed men, women and children to their multitude of gods. They died liked they lived. Right, just the kind of civilization I want to believe in.

I don’t believe in the “pie in the sky” theory of God, but I do believe in “Divine Spirit” and that we are “spiritual beings having a human experience.” If Mother Nature eliminates us from the planet, it won’t be because humans predicted it; it will be because we didn’t live in tune with nature. “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature!”

So here is my deal; if you’re positive, I will listen. If you’re negative, I won’t. This is a two- way street, so I will always try to be positive so that you might listen to me if you so choose. “Birds of a feather flock together.” So if you are hanging positive, let’s hang together. Negative people go hand in hand with other negative people and perhaps should hide under rocks like mushrooms. I plan to stand with my fellow “positives” high on a mountain top and praise all the good things about our lives and the beautiful blue planet we call home.

I’m just saying,

Mittster