Rabu, 30 November 2011

Children really do know it all

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, and a woman and
pots and then comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

If you didn't smile at one of these, you need to find a better sense of humor.

I'm just saying,


Selasa, 29 November 2011

I wish I had said that!

A friend sent this to me and I thought it worthy of repeating.

At a time when our president and other politicians tend to apologize for our country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some of our
former patriots handled negative comments about our country.

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's
when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded, "Does that include those who are buried here?"
DeGaulle did not respond.

You could have heard a pin drop.

When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an
example of “empire building” by George Bush.

He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent
many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."

You could have heard a pin drop.

There was a conference in France where a number of international
engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?"

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have
three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people;
they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"

You could have heard a pin drop.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included
Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French
Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a
large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He
then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in
these conferences rather than speaking French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, "Maybe it's
because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged
it so you wouldn't have to speak German."

You could have heard a pin drop.


Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by
plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his
passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer
asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to
show it."

"Impossible...Americans always have to show their passports on
arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he
quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on
D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

You could have heard a pin drop.


I have one question: Where in the hell are the American politicians nowadays that can answer these kinds of negative questions with such genius? We truly have a Capitol full of the mentally challenged; I must be politically correct you know. Fornication Under Consent of the King, they are all idiots!

Write on,


Senin, 28 November 2011

The Wizard of It

It is an interesting word. I love it – I hate it – I ate itIt was ugly – Did you see it? – I got some of it last night – It doesn’t make sense – You get home before you get it! – I got it, did you? – What it is? – It wasn’t me – It seems strange to me – It isn’t enough – It wore its welcome out and so on….

What the hell is it? No, seriously, what is it? I tried to look up the origin of the word it, but all I found is the origin of the "F" word, which explains why we say "fuck it," but this still doesn't explain the word it. Oh, by the way, if you click on the origins of the "F" word you will not be reluctant to use the "F" word anymore. It really isn't a nasty word after all. It simply means, Fornication Under Consent of the King. Just so the prudes don't get mad, I now say Fornication Under Consent of the King, instead of fuck. It takes longer to say it, but passes the prude laws.

OK, let’s forget the word it and continue with the history of Fornication Under Consent of the King. It is much more interesting and the subject makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Crap, hold the presses, my wife is headed this way! Gotta go….

I’m just saying,


Minggu, 27 November 2011

Popularity of the Cross Tattoos

The Popularity of the Cross Tattoosis on the rise as shown by the number of top celebrities getting them. Cross Tattoos On Wrist There are many types of wrist tattoos including stars, words, and wrist bands. The wrist is a great location for a tattoo that you can hide or show off as you choose.What an ideal spot for your favorite saying or symbol.
The most common location is the inside of the wrist Cross Tattoos On Wrist.They are very popular because it is easier to hide an inner wrist tattoo. Some folks like to have their wrist tattoo on top of their wrist in combination with a tattoo sleeve or hand tattoos. Even more daring is a tattoo that encircles the wrist like a bracelet.
A tattoo of this type is just like an armband tattoo but much lower. Pink has “What Goes Around Comes Around” and “TRU LUV” circling her right wrist. Popularity of the Cross Tattoos

Popularity of the Cross Tattoos

Sabtu, 26 November 2011

Popular Stylish Flower Tattoos For Girls

Tattoo designs become a fashion icon for new generation. every one want to have a new stylish tattoo design to be prominent in their friends and fields.Tats fashion is not limited now to only men it become unlimited for every one specially for girls and women. The mostpopular tattoos for girls are butterfly tattoos, Flower tattoos, small tattoos and star tattoos. I think the most likely tattoos from girls are Flower tattoo designs. The mostly Floral tattoos are on Flower tattoos on shoulder, Flower tattoos on hip, Flower tattoos on arm. I
There are many types of Floral designs as Rose tattoos, Hibiscus tattoos, Lily tattoos, Tulip tattoos and many more. They are also in colors designs and in black.

Jumat, 25 November 2011

Funny Stuff

OK, it’s time to purge the cartoon files again. Although doing this in no way constitutes a real blog, I find it hard to write funny material lately. We all need to laugh more and complain less, but that is hard to do when we watch our supposed countrymen (politicians) thumb their rotten noses up at We The People on a daily basis. Sorry, here I go again with the complaining. Have a good day in spite of me!