I have a friend in the UP of Michigan who is really, I mean really, afraid of zombies. Well, I am here to tell her that zombies are not real. They have never been real nor will they ever be real.
On the other hand, cannibals are real, and the history books are crammed full of historical facts proving the validity of cannibalism even up to and including modern time. There are cannibal clubs in America in which the members really eat human flesh! The pictures are so gross I could not show them here.
The American population is at great risk from modern cannibals. They stalk us during the night and the unlucky ones disappear without a trace. Bones are much easier to hide than a whole body. There is no escape, no compassion, no returning from the curse of the cannibals.
There, now don't you feel better. I have cured your zombie phobia forever! What are friends for?