Yup, folks, it's Quartzsite, Arizona, time again, but this time it will be different. There will traffic up the kazoo, and more people per square inch than in China. You will be able to see more small, white heads looking over steering wheels than in Florida. The scary part is that these small, white heads will also be driving 40' motor homes. It gives new meaning to the sport of demolition derby!
Why would I leave the quiet of Camp Verde for the madness of Quartzsite? It’s simple; to sell books to 1.5 million old farts like myself, that’s why! Oh, and you can throw in the world’s best pizza at Silly Al’s Restaurant…. Actually the pizza is reason enough to fight off the hordes of old-timers in Quartzsite.
We also found another reason to visit Quartzsite. There is a veterinarian there who charges way less that the vets in the Camp Verde area. How about one third the cost? It’s absolutely true! No, I will not give you his name. If everyone and their mother start going there, he will raise his rates. Moreover, someone his age might not be able to take the stress of so many new animals to take care of. Did I mention that everyone here is old?
Reader’s Oasis Bookstore at 690 East Main Street will be the location of my book signing, and yes, naked Paul will be there in all his glory. Bring a camera; it’s the only way that looking at him is legitimate. Otherwise you could be judged through association. Personally, I could care less about his nudity; looking at prunes is not one of my pastimes.
If you want an interesting day trip from Phoenix, get on Interstate 10 and drive west to Quartzsite, Arizona, which is twenty miles east of Blyth, California. If you plan to spend the night, good luck. You might find a place in Blyth, but I doubt it, and no, there is no extra room in our motor home!
I’m just saying,