I Hate Football

Three things I should never do: go to a casino, pick a line in the grocery store, or pick a team to win the Super Bowl (or any football game for that matter). Last night I again demonstrated my ability to pick the losing team while making fun of my wife and kids every time the Steelers made a good play.

The two first quarter touchdowns by the Packers should have been a warning, but I had watched the Steelers win important games after big first half deficits before. What, me worry? After watching the Packers lose three star defensive players to injuries, I just knew the game was in the bag.

It was at this point that I put my thumbs up and pretended they were little people talking to each other while attending the game. Lefty spoke first, “Oh, look, Righty, our team just made a touchdown.” Righty responded, “Looks like wifey's team is losing big time!” Then they both said in unison, “Nana, nana, na na, nana, nana, na, na. You are going lose, you are going to lose.” I patterned the skit after the TV show South Park.

I continued this little skit until the fourth quarter and time was running out for my team. My little guys hung their heads in shame and slunk out of the stadium, never to be seen by the eyes of man again. I became silent as the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl. I was now ready for the texting to start that would make my humiliation complete. My wife just looked at me, smiled and said, “You are such an idiot.”

That I am…that I am,

Mittster